I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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