I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
50% drunk capacity currently
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
