i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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