I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
