Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
