If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
