It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
