Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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