every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
