Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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