Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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