he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
