Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Randomize
