now i know why i became what i already was.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
