i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
