god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
