Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
