dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
