She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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