I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
