im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
