Can Purell be used as lube?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You may now shotgun with the bride
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
