She's JV to your varsity
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
