Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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