when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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