Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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