well you can't waste a boner
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
