More tranny stories later!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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