Bisexual people are plain selfish.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She bit a glass in half.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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