I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
