I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
