I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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