i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
