I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
