Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
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