that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
