her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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