You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
