Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The maid of honor just puked.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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