yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
PANTIES FOUND
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
