what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
