The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
