The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I want her autograph on my taint
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
