I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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