Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
