I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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