I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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