If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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