do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
