So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
